Cupid's Best Pal

Of myriad musings

2008-08-25T00:49:00.000-07:00

Okay it has been light-years since I last posted, (kindly note that light-year is a unit of distance, but you know what I mean, right?), and I don’t even have an excuse, that is, if being miserably busy doesn’t count: P

Okay I’ve been walking around the world thinking and talking to myself since I was a 3rd grader (yes, that’s when I realized that um a day dreamer).

And recently this activity is all what I do in my leisure time. I dunno if I’ve ever told u guy(s) about my new job. Notice that I used brackets with ‘s’ for the reasons that you and I both know!

So there’s this new job and I finally have a life, I go to my office, sit down, type my hands out, with lips sealed together (not with someone, I wish!), and then come home eat, read something and then sleep. But my Big B wouldn’t agree with that cuz there’s a lot of stuff except my routine that I do, which includes fighting with him to surf the net for some time and whining about him (to myself only).

And then I keep thinking of the girl I want in my life.

Right now, um like Will Smith in hitch’s first 15-20 minutes. I know everything about how to get a girl to ask me out, but I just don’t seem to stick to one defined constant.

It pisses me off more n more every minute that I have been in relationship with almost every kind of girl trying to fall in love, or better still, trying to continue the r/ship for a couple of months, and I still don’t cease to eliminate my habit of changing environments, or in this case, changing girls.

Now I am not a pig, who dates girls in proliferation, okay? I am solicitous. And that too, to the highest degree. But um just a normal guy who loses interests very easily. I really respect girls and their feelings and all the jazz and I do not break up until something unavoidable shows up. But, where am I supposed to find someone really interesting?

I have a ‘sheet’ that has a list of qualities I like in a girl, and unfortunately the list keeps changing every now and then. Not my fault again, mood swings.. my brain’s got a point, right?!

Okay what else? Yea, um a terrible conversationalist and I can’t just make small talk or any talk for that matter. So, that pretty much explains that why am I WRITING instead of talking to my friends here in educorp in my break time.
I guess, my Tiffin’s here.

I’ll scoot.. can’t miss yummy food for a anything!
Ciyah and try and second me on my opinions so that I don’t feel lonely.. not that I don’t feel good on being unique :D, but still.

PS: When I say I try to fall in luv, that doesn’t mean ‘try to FALL IN LOVE’, hell I fall in love every morning with atleast 20 girls on my way to office. But fall in luv as in .. staying in luv :P

Hola!

2008-08-23T00:20:00.000-07:00

Hola! Okay it’s been a long time since I last wanted to type something out.
Well... um not much of a talker as u know, so I don’t really need to blurt out things which don’t make sense. And I like my space.
Sitting quiet, in a room full of ppl isn’t much of a tiring job. But I kinda have a liking for it.. thinking what they’d be thinking and figuring things out by looking at their expressions :P
It’s a fun job u know.
Oh yea.. speaking of job, I have this whole new ‘job’ which pays me a mere 4 grands (I excluded 500 cuz that’s how much I spend on the conveyance in a month, so yea.)
All I have to do is type stuff that freaks the hell out of me except if it’s English, which of course I love.
But CAT’s exam maker guys don’t use much user-friendly English. I keep wondering why is there a need to use such high brow words, if all u want to do is convey feelings to the readers?
Though I am in love with the language and I try to learn all the new words and all, which btw, I keep forgetting cuz of the tiny brains that I have. No offense to me, but that’s how it is!
None taken, carry on!
Ohkay.. so what else do I do except typing the hell out of this poor keyboard?
Well, I sit IDLE!
Yep.. I mean I know I can surf the net and all.. but I don’t feel like.
I mean at home I can practice for the SAT exams on the net use that CD and listen to some music in my vella time (Which, btw, I don’t have any more.) Thanks to this 9 to 8 job.. Urghhh!
So what else?
What else.. ummm.. yeah.. I don’t wanna crib and all.. cuz um gonna be making at least SOME money after this month and so on n forth, but still.. I don’t have time for my social life (Haah.. yea right!)
No seriously now, I know um not that social.. but I have frnz dude!
I missed my frnz’ bday party the other day.I can’t meet the only school friend that I have and the worst part?
She’s leaving in 10 days. We used to have lunch together and all.
But now.. I don’t even have lunch.. Not that I don’t have time and all.. I’ve plenty of time.
But u won’t go outside and eat alone, right?
Besides its major kadki time, My cell wouldn’t be recharged until I get my sal.. yeah.. supportive parents nd bro I have got!
Hmmm… so about the rain now. The rain dint stop me from coming to this paradise, my work (that is, if u still haven’t figured out what um referring to!)

I am mega bored since morning, but there’s good news, I just got to know that I can issue books. Yipppeeeeeee!!
Now that’s not such a happy news if u look at it with a certain perspective, cuz they don’t have more than around 50 books here. (Like I’ll read all of em in the span of my LIFETIME!)
But still, they don’t have the books that I really want to read, u know, so yea.

Okay I don’t know where it comes from but I’ve been humming this quote/phrase/extract, call it whatever u will, since morning, which, by god, can offend anyone!
Here it goes,
DON’T LET ‘EM BASTARDS KEEP YOU,
ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS JUST SMILE N SAY, “FUCK YOU!”

PS: this was written almost a month back

YUM BACK!!!

2008-01-19T21:59:00.000-08:00

okay hello guys.

I know its been so long ... nd um sorry. i have lost contact with almost all of my blog buddies..due to the sickening windows/linux/OSX crashes that my presario faces plus the consistent seminars nd animation stuff.

And well.. i took aquick look on my blogposts today nd i laughed at em!!

okay..so what have i missed? X-mas... new year. ... hooh alot!

x-mas was normal... wanted to buy this santa cap ..which i was in love with.
they were selling at all the lights here. But i was too lazy to go and buy em.

nd unlike previous years i dint buy a x-mas tree too. Its so kiddish plus i think i have grown up..heheh

At the night i saw some movies.. monster house, the jacket, smoking aces.. ALOT of movies.

That was a good day :)

Nd well then the big day came. i was planning to go for the party my mates had organized ... but my playlist dint let me go off my bed.

I saw SAW that night.
Actually um at a stage of life when i want to do everything that i fear.. hehe

Um so scared of horror/Violent flicks ... but on the new yr eve i planned to watch em all.

30 nights of the month something/ saw/ hostel.. hostel 2 was kinda more scary.. hehe. dint watch it.

but the night was fun.

no lights in the room.. all alone watching the deadliest movies.. hehe

okay then the next day i started preparing for this graphic design competition (Fist ever i participated in) ... wasnt much fun .. less competition. but yeah..i won the second prize... DAYUM!!!

nd the cherry on the cake... received applauds from MCM girls... hehe.. thank you thank you... i know its exciting!!

So all in all the time till now was fun.

ohhhhh and yeaaaaahh...

I got this charre wali gunnnnnnnnnn...

Um so much in love with it... i try to shoot everything.. heheh.. making targets and all..

i got it day before yeaterday i guess and i've lost half of my chharre :((

nyway... um blahblahing alot. FOR A CHANGE..hehehe

um so happy to be back.. i'll make new frnz nd refresh the old ones.. heheh...

current song-- zombie..
i wonder y this aantie is screaming zombie zombie.. hehe

the song is good... mast ae.

anyway.. u guys take care.. nd happy blogging :)

There's no such thing!!!!

2007-11-26T10:23:00.000-08:00

awite... enough of crying nd cribbing about her.

its time t face the reality. its time i become of the gender um supposed to be.

awitte so..

listen up mates... um seriously gonna talk sense now.

so first things first.

There is no such THING as love.There's no such THING as passion.There's no such THING as attraction..or lust.
okay...if u feel like closing the page... just try nd pay some attention.

Um not saying that guys (or chicks for that matter) dont experience STATES of attraction love or lust.What exactly um trying to tell here is that these states are processes that take place inside human mind nd body.

nd so what i mean is that these states

CAN BE CREATED ND DIRECTED ACCORDING TO WISH.
nd i guess to explain this in a better way..i'd have to tell u guys about something that i came across once.

awite fine.. so here's an example.

'FALLING IN LOVE'
Ok. Since um being pretty general and theoretical let's get a bit more specific and talk about what every woman dreams about... well.. Falling In love.

Okay now based on what I've said so far., do you think i believe that "love" is based on some mysterious "chemistry" that flows between 2 ppl? Maybe it's caused by a butt naked Little chump named CUPID(who i claim to be my best frnd) who shoots an arrow into your ass?

No, Here's how ppl fall in love: First, understand you do NOT fall in love with someone when you in their presence. No. You fall in love when you're off by yourself, thinking about them afterwards. This is why it is so hypnotically powewrful, because you are doing it to yourself, and ppl are always their best hypnotists.

here's how it happens: You go out with someone, maybe even one date. And then you go home, and you're lying there, thinking about them. And, you FORM AN IMAGE of them in your mind. And as you do that, you start to list yo yourself all the qualities about them that you like, "She's so, She's so, She's Damn..blah blah" Maybe then you Picture you and them having lots of fun in all sorts of situations. Then you get the warm, funny feeling right in your solar plexus, and then, the nail in your coffin, you say her name 2-3 times to yourself. And if you're really a geek, maybe you even dance around the house singing it. Or you possibly go about bringing up her name in almost every frigging conversation u have.

Hmmmm.. so this sounds familiar ... eh? Now, as you recall the times in your in your past when you did this, were you then able to stay cool, in control of yourself and the r/ship? Or were you calling her every day, always wanting to see her , and eager to kiss her ass, to the point where she, of course, dropped you?

Here's the point: 'Love' is a process ppl do to themselves. It's not a "thing" you trip over or a "hole" you fall into. And i know, even tough um not there watching you, that as i describe it here on blogger , you recalled and went through that process yourself,and recalled the feelings associated with it. And just the way.. i made u go through that process... without even being with u, then even u can. if u you know how, skillfully describe this (or any other) process to a woman in your presence, link it to yourself, and in a matter of minutes, cause her.....

UNDERGO THATPROCESS AND FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU ON THE SPOT, WINKEY!!!

2007-10-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

People usually love animals.. maybe it's justified.

Cuz Animals are so much easier to understand than humans.

If an animal doesn’t like you it will bite you. But humans will get as close to you as possible even if it takes months and then when the time is right they will destroy you utterly..

PS: I don't like dogs... bad experience.

2007-09-28T10:11:00.000-07:00

They say "....and they both fell in love"
This 'fell' is cuz.. love is an ocean.
I can tell u. cuz i too fell in the ocean... actually we both fell.
The thing is that.. she got to the shore.. nd i drowned there.. waiting for her..nd expecting her to come back.
I heard today that she again has fallen in that ocean. i pity her partner. nd at the same time feel jealous cuz he's having the best of his times.

The wait.

2007-09-28T09:53:00.000-07:00

My wait hasn't ended. My eyes still long for you. the feelings in your heart went away with the winters. Its funny how your feelings change like the seasons. Every day seems like the last day of my life... i feel like someone on the deathbed. God knows where i went wrong... cuz we have gradually lost touch...

My friends still tease me with ur name.. i laugh.. but my eyes still long....

I wonder if its pleasing for you to see me all messed up.. mad in ur love.
You spoiled the word 'love' and i lost respect for it.
I cry aloud ur name... Cuz actually... i cant do anything more :(

relevance??!?

2007-08-31T07:54:00.000-07:00

The Kyurius Design yatra,round trip to Goa was a real good deal.....

cheap, tempting and now,
unavailable.
sounds like someone else
I know.

2007-08-14T06:46:00.000-07:00

Insomniac WAS the new word for me.
I had actually started behaving like one. Talking over the phone all night long.And having the time of my life.
Mum thought i was going mad... talking to myself... nd smiling all day long. Had to charge my cellphone all day long. Sms packs knew no count. The nights passed just so easily. Smiling, talking, giggling, and loving.
In the evening, i still remember, i'd go swinging my arms like a kid. Yeah... that's the word.. A kid!

I actually turned into a kid.. suddenly thinking that everyone loves me and all... being happy nd smiling nd dancing my days.

And the so called flirt morphed into a committed lover!

But the fact that almost killed me was... the SHE realized that she was a kid when she said she loves me. It was an immature decision.

Ah... My honey dint understand... she dint know ... that we lovers... we lovers are immature and kiddish throughout our life.

Cuz wen it comes to love... its all about losing your maturity....

i am immature.. and that's y um typing this!!

i am immature... and maybe that's why i have loved u till now..

and maybe.. i'll keep loving u.. i'll be immature all my life... whenever it comes to u... :(

Insomniac IS the new word for me.
I have actually started behaving like one. Crying with the phone in hand all night long.And expecting her to call up... or even msg.
Mum doesn't know that um going mad... talking to myself... nd sobbing all day long. I dont even know where my phone is right now. I don't even get it recharged... i don't feel like talking to anyone. The nights just refuse to pass. Lying, thinking and crying silently.

And the so called Lover morphed into a blogger.........

Why is it...

2007-08-12T23:54:00.000-07:00

Why is it.. that i mailed her the other day?
why is it... that i she did reply?
why is it... that we became frnz?
why is it... that we talked to each other like crazy?
why is it... that i asked fr her number?
why is it... that she called me up?
why is it... that we became more than frnz?
why is it...
that i asked her out?
why is it... that she agreed?
why is it... that she broke my trust?
why is it... i dint value her?
why is it... that i loved her so much?
why is it... that i never realized it was all fake?
why is it... that i still do love her?
why is it... that she has so many ppl like me in her life?
nd i have none like her?

Why does it happen?.. y am i even typing this weird piece?
y am i even uploading this text?
y do i feel like i dont have a life?
y is it that my frnz ditch me?
y is it that i dont sleep at nights?
nd y the hell am i stuck to blogger and orkut?
nd hell.. the damned sad songs????!!!!

urghhhhhhhhhhhh.

Pyar

2007-08-09T22:16:00.000-07:00

Oh rabh vargeya sajna teh
si rabh varga aitbar sanu .....
par eh dhokha karkey yaara nal
gai jaundeya nu hi maar sanu .........
tera saha vich si sah lainda
ik pal vi dhoori ni jarda si ......
sach puchey ta man badal geya
teinu pyar bathera karda si ......
sach puchey ta man badal geya
teinu pyar bathera karda si ......

sadey hasey kohkey laigey tu
asi sari zindagi rohva gey .....
jo daag wafa nu laiya tu
asi hanjua de nal tohva gey .....
ohaio galan murey ah gayiah
jehdia galan toh dil darda si .....
sach puchey ta man badal geya
teinu pyar bathera karda si .......

Source : Dev dhillon (Pyar)

Till u said....

2007-08-02T01:41:00.000-07:00

Well,I never really knew you till you said goodbye..You said it's finally over, here's the reasons why..

You said you've heard enough of all those little lies

I thought I made you happy but you've proved me wrong

I thought I was the one that really made your day.
When I see ur fone's engaged ... nd that ur busy talkin to someone other.. i feel like killin myself.

I guess gettin' over me didn't take you long... yeah.. nd y would it take long?.. after all.. there wasnt anything called love b/w us.

No I never really knew you till you said goodbye...

2007-07-29T10:08:00.000-07:00

The soul's out there waiting .... the body's here.. lying, drowning in alcohol ... trying to live...

The hours that passed talking to u... now find me walking on the roads fagging nd hiding my tears.

i dont have no control... over me.. my dose of beer.. the fags.. my eyes which long to see ur pic.
no-one t wipe off my tears no one to understand wat um going through.

i luv u nd i miss u...

2007-07-19T00:16:00.000-07:00

I got over you...i got rid of your memories. All the videos nd pics... nd ur mails.
Your number .... ur msgs.... everything associated with you.... almost.

The only thing that i cant get over is still left... left in my mind... the night u said that "YES"

Maybe i have a loads of frnz to help me get over u... but again... um just so alone within.

Just your YES i cant get over.....
i tried hard.. but it stayd...it stayed in my mind to make me remember everything i tried to forget.

Ah... i dunno wat i became...I feel just like that wish... that was never granted........ in ur luv...
I feel just like that wish... that was never granted....
seems i asked more than what i deserved... but then.. what did i ask at all?.. to leave me amidst... amidst all these circumstances... that saw me all changed?

These wounds u gave me... they have healed... almost....

But your YES makes them fresh.. nd i cnt ignore em.

In this heart... many memories have stayed... nd left.
Its just YOUR love.. the time we spent talking.. the fun we had.... Its still there in my heart... buried deep somewhere...

When you talk of your present happy life.. i miss th best time of my life... The time i spent talking to you... walking with u... holding you.....
The day u agreed... nd laughed watching me go crazy.... the days i spent rehearsing those three words to myself...

the day i heard those 3 magical words from you... the time when we cried together cuz we couldnt meet.

The time u asked me not to go ..anywhere.. not to hang up... cuz u wanted to hear my voice...

Honey...um still there... Its u who has left... its u who changed ......

...........

2007-07-08T01:06:00.000-07:00

No pressure at my neck.
Just the look on his face,
One I've seen too many times,
And the angle of his arm.
I look down, and what I see barely registers.
A glint of silver,
The sudden flicker of knowledge,
The feeling of trust as I don't think.
I only act. One flick and I prove the blade at my collar isn't sharp,
At the risk of my tongue.
But I knew it wouldn't be.
The look, half unsurprised half annoyed, on his face is perfect,
Caught in the street light,
And I can't help but smile. All the times there's been a blade to my neck,
Always wielded by a friend,
The times it's drawn blood, the times it hasn't...
I don't even flinch any more.
And as I walk, happily pinning him, I can't help but note There's only one difference between then and now.
I know my knife carrier won't hurt me in the now.
And it brightens my step a little more.

Who to blame?

2007-07-07T21:37:00.002-07:00

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies, un-forgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

Another meaningless crappy mail....

2007-07-02T09:21:00.000-07:00

Feb 8, 2007 10:16 AM

love on the internet.....dnt miss a single word honey....

Though I wasn't looking for anyone new,
One day I got e- mail and in it was you.
Charming, sensitive and so debonair,
I strongly resisted it go anywhere.

But letters and stories captured my heart,
Filled me with passion almost from the start.
Love on the Internet, how could it be?
These things just don't happen to people like me.

But doves and butterflies flew into our lives,
Carrying messages we could not deny.
Each person has meaning and love to express,
And we could deny our hearts nothing less.

It's a beautiful love that has grown between us,
Something beyond any words we discuss.
Much deeper than LOL, cyber kisses and such,
Far down to our souls, beyond human touch.

My love's not confined by what it can see,
I feel you, I taste you, I experience your dream.
Close my eyes, and I envision what in my heart I can hear,
"Love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear."

It's the soul that captures God's love in a way
That eternally melts hearts together to stay.
Fused and sealed forever as one,
Love has its way and new life is begun.

2007-07-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

Feb 8, 2007 10:04 AM

....now dis is d 1 expressing my true feelings,though it aint written by me...but still d feelings r mine.....

I never really knew you
You were just another friend
But when I got to know you,
I let my heart unbend.
I couldn't help past memories
that would only make me cry
I had to forget my first love
and give love another try
So I've fallen in love with you
and I'll never let you go
I love you more than anyone
I just had to let you know
And if you ever wonder why
I don't know what I'll say
But I'll never stop loving you
each and every day
My feelings for you will never change
Just know my feelings are true
Just remember one thing
I Love You!

Just today... i surfed my box.. nd found a millions of these...
Of course i did drop a tear..or maybe more.
There was a time when each one of these were so important for me. Every mail... the very sight of a mail from you made me crazy...
But today... wen i see my starred mail list...
i find crap... total crap of 150 MB....

Darkens...

2007-07-01T18:40:00.000-07:00

The moon is only half full...like my smile is half real
My head is still filled with the memories of you....that brought me so much joy then so much pain

the tears arent mine...but yours and the stars fall from my sky
as if to tell me...that there's nothing I can do......but sit back and watch them fall

and as much as I reach to you the sky gets darker the moon just gets smaller....until I cant even fake a smile

The Refused

2007-06-30T21:46:00.000-07:00

He sits in the park when its dark, cribs about his life to himself ... switches off his cell phone so that no one could disturb him.
He wants to be alone, away from this mad world.... the world which never tried to understand him.
The world which exploited him. The world where he feels like hell.
The place where no-one belongs to him.
The place.... where he is the one who is REFUSED..

2007-05-23T19:37:00.000-07:00

I don't really want to say goodbye....I don't really want to leave you.....
But now I have to go away.......Stay away from you forever

What we had was never special to you...

But now I have to go away... *sob*
And leave you from my heart... cuz maybe u dont deserve me...

Nd i bet u'll feel ditched again.... but then..no Vishaal wud be there to help u...
ah..no :(.

maybe i'll stil help u..but still i'll have no respect fr u...nd fr the girls of ur
kind..
i wont be as nice as i was... ever...

Cuz being nice hurts...hurts like hell... nd yea.. dont tell me that u dont know
how to flirt...cuz in that case...u'll have a live example contradicting...

Cnt frget you... cnt love you...nd cnt even hate u... cnt even get over you :(

u have made me helpless.. but this is a test.. that i have to pass...

i let u go...cuz i thought if u ever were made fr me...
u'll be turning back... with a lil hope in my love.... i do believe...

But on the same time i pray to god.... that u never feel the pain u gave me...
nd um happy to se ur happy.

these mixed feelings wont take me anywhere... nd i still guess... i'd win this war.

But who cares!

U never did love me..

2007-05-23T09:05:00.000-07:00

U can tell me... u love me,
U can tell me... u care,
But I can never trust u,
No not again...

U broke my heart,
Left it shattered.
And then u walked away.
U left me speechless what could I say�

U said u would never leave me,
That u loved me forever.
But now I know the truth,
U loved me never.....

Wat am i left with?

2007-05-19T21:27:00.000-07:00

Laying on my chair... with headfones stuck in my ears.. eyes closed... no light will i see.
I think of the best moments of my life...
I think that u've been playing all around with hearts... u've been playing with my trust... Just cuz i become so weak in front of u... Just like a slave for you...
Um getting high on thoughts.. of u... ur fav clothes...ur fav foods......which u made me learn...
The way you looked at me..drove me crazy... the feeling of being on cloud nine everytime u smiled....
the times we saw the sun setting.. the times we actually LIVED..
The times when u said u were immature...
the times i hugged u when u cried.... the times i fought for u... the times u felt low...

But..as i open my eyes.. i find nothing around me.. no one infact.
Have i lost everyone?... or is it that u have made me a social retard?

All's gone now... all love.. all the beautiful rains... all the green nd sweet evenings.. all friends..
all parties....

What am i left with?
Just a pad to write my own story?
Or all the horns nd pains nd invisible wounds on my heart?

YOU'LL NEVER FORGET ME.... I KNOW YOU'LL MISS ME......

2007-04-14T05:22:00.000-07:00

Ur lovely lips... when i touched em with mine,i felt like i was in heaven.
The stars came falling down like the rains.. and it felt like god was delighted to see us together...as if we were one of the most elegant couples he that he created.....
The day is still fresh in my mind and i still relish the moments we spent together...
But today,as i watch the ppl walking around me talking to their partners...i feel i lack someone..
Ur not here... nd it feels nothing's here... nd there's somethin in my heart that makes me feel lonely... lonely among the hundreds of people walking in couples... i certainly do miss you... nd um so sure that wouldn't have gotten anyone better than me...
Even u would go to places where we met secretly...nd where we spent the best momens of our life....
I know my thoughts wont leave your mind....nd ur heart(if u have one) even u would wake up at nights nd remember our late nights fone calls... you'll remember the times we walked with hands in hands... nd the rainy days when we played with water...
You'll never be out of my memories nd whenever you'll miss me .... you'll ask everyone around to leave you alone nd u'll cry ...but then...you wont get someone like me to hold you nd make you happy.... you'd have no-one to thank for making you feel better... u'll feel poisoned nd you wont find a reason to live... your eyes would fall short of tears nd ur heart of emotions... but

YOU'LL NEVER FORGET ME.... I KNOW YOU'LL MISS ME......

2007-04-07T19:51:00.000-07:00

Sitting on this bench,with sun rays making their way from the leaves that are still green and highlighting most of the parts of my face... a park in my sector where i dont see any mammal of nature... except for that rikshaw puller sleeping in the shade about a 100 mts away from me.

I look up to the sun, the big ball of fire.... and it feels like it shed all its rays on me only.... urging me to go back to my place.... but i stare up... um blinded for some time.
I wonder why is everyone.... rushing through the times... not observing the beauty nature...busy in earning money.... and the only peace i find is while my sessions of day dreaming... and i beg ppl not to ever wake me up from my dreams.... i want to see myself in a less anxious world... a world where no-one works from 9 to 7 to have some shitty salary.... a world where me and friends could find sometime to watch all things that don't matter.... a world where ppl have time to come in that park and talk 'n' walk their tensions....

gettin high

2007-03-20T20:51:00.000-07:00

It was a normal day.I as usual was sitting idle at my place trying to figure how to make my life an organized one.
Sitting on the chair,when i heard the door bell...i wasnt quite sure if it was a friend of mine or not.
but wateva....i heard a similar voice...saying namaste aantie.

nd i was quite sure at that time who he was.

so came up to me asking, "wats up dude.... aivien bongeya di tarah kyu baitha ae"
i jus smiled nd said...aivien yaar...bore ho gaye.
The next half an hour we chatted...nd then he offered me to accompany him to his place.

i wasnt in a mood...or maybe lazy...but u know these frnz...they're gonna keep blabbering nd trying to convince me.....
so i finally was up..changed, nd went cycling along with him.

We went to his place...nd were lying on different beds....wen he suddenly came up with the most wicked plan.
he said,"dude,wtf, um sick of this bored life....let's get high"

i was half bored nd wasnt listening to him much. But as i heard the word "high"

i looked at him as if he had kicked on my innards.....i was astonished nd hyper.
but after a fifteen minute discussion on the right age to get high..... i was convinced enough to try it once...(its easy to convince me... especially when it comes to something adventurous :P)

Ok ...so we set out to sector 35 fr a game of pool(which in the end proved to be a 2-hour pool session!)

and after that...it was around 7 o'clock in the evening nd we went out fr the final show!

he took all the things ....drove to his place.
i had my first sip of beer.... nd realized that i would better have a garlic than to have the next sip!

so damn weird was the taste.

but my frnd said....no dude...continue..u'd love it wen u get high.

so there was i sitting on a couch having the weirdest drink ever made...jus to fuckin get high once.

i drank my first glass(but i dint get high :( ).... i have to have that feeling.... pour in some more,i said drifting my glass towards him.
Not here... he said.

let's get to terrace.
nd so i found myself sitting there...holding my second glass.
i lost count of glasses in an hour or something...bottles were lined up in frnt of me(4 in total)
nd 2 of them were empty.

i dint feel like i was high,at this point too :P
but yeah..i felt i was acidified from inside....nd at that point he offered me a fag.
i din know how was i supposed to take it in.... but i tried it like sanjay dutt!
i dint take it down in my lungs..as they say it was harmful(as if they prefer drinking nd smoking..haah!)

there was i lying on the terrace without any sense,fagging nd boozing.

my eyes were reddening, heart-beat increasing a bit,head felt so heavy,fingers nd toes were cold... nd i feeling like um floating in the sky!
so in layman language i was jus getting high!

I feel

2007-03-17T20:58:00.000-07:00

I have never been in so much love with anyone....missing someone so much isn't my way.
I like to be practical at most of my times(i know most of u r laughing on this cuz i never appear practical in the blog!...lollz)
But its nt that...i blog whenever i feel sad...nd as i said in the latest posts....that cuz no-one listens to me.
nd maybe cuz no-one understands me too.
But whenever the sun sets...night comes...i behave weird nd i start feeling for her...i feel that um losing her...maybe some of my friends would steal her from me.
I keep asking myself...what if she falls in love with someone else?
what if i lose her totally?...nd what if she isn't missing me? what if "the right time" fr me doesnt ever come?
But then, um reminded of all the troubles i have been through... all the silliest fight i've fought in the last 3 months of my life..... i forget the tears of the beginning, which dropped frm my eyes reading the texts she sent me.
but i remember the tears born cuz of her(or maybe me) in the last 2-3 days.

The lights of my room are off, my breakfast has been lying on the table from the last 40 minutes.... but i dont feel like switchin on the lights or getting my favorite paneer ka parauntha(beautifully lying in the plate with a big chunk or makhan) into me.

i dont feel anythin... no no no...i dont want to make her cry again by getting hyper...i dont want her to go to others to share our fights....nd get guided by them.

i want that same girl as she was in december. Not talkin to anyone but me...waiting fr me to come online..calling me whenever she was sad. laughing with me.

Talkin to her at that time was just like getting high....it felt good...i forgot all the things i was supposed to do.... work,study,exercise nd everything.

i was spending every hour of my day talkin to her....listening to her sexy voice, sensing her deep feelings for me...sharing everythin with her.

Every secret disclosed.... because she was just the type of girl i have wanted.

But.... its all over now.
i cant hear the same voice laughing, crying thinking that we cant ever meet.
Tears roll down my cheeks listening to Atif, nd comparing the lyrics to my life.
i dont feel like listening to rock now...
i have always been a great fan of rock genre of music...but i dont feel like rocking anymore....

cuz i've lost something precious of my life..... nd i feel like crying on it.

But....its no point crying too.
i know she'll have a new life in this month or next nd forget me....nd i'll lie here thinking of the best moments(that we could never spend together)

Planning of what would i do when i see her(which,practically speaking,is never possible)

But maybe,maybe someday,sometime, my wishes would come true....
or....maybe i'll die dreaming of her nd wanting her more nd more everyday.

Love you loads....

No-one.....

2007-03-17T00:13:00.000-07:00

Hey guys.... wassup!.... howz it goin?.... good,i hope.

actually blogging wasn't my cup of tea...until recently, i found out tht there's no one to hear u except ur Blog ;)

Today, as i write this entry,i think that how many of u (if there r any at all!) would be thinking that y am i always so low while writing!..lollz

well, at this point of time, i remember what bro said the other day..... "no one has the time to blog wen he/she's happy!!!!"
My PC says its 12:48PM nd my player is playing aasma's 'tumse hi pyar' a good track.

My mood isn't that great right now... um actually bored of everything... orkut, surfing, games nd have nothin to do at all.

i cnt find a single person to chat with nd share my feelings with in my list.

Songs keep changing, mum keeps screaming, the fone keeps ringing.... but jus don feel like doin anythin...
Boooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggg

See, My bro's here...nd wont allow me to complete the post even.

huh... everyone hates me.... nd ..As if i care.....

IMP

2007-03-16T11:16:00.000-07:00

This is important ppl.

anythin that is in this blog is strictly me talkin to myself...its isnt fr anyone/thing.

who's she?

2007-03-14T12:07:00.000-07:00

Its not that i love her or something.... its not that i do anything less than love... but still i hate it when i see her flirting... i dunno y... i hate it when she doesnt reply..nd i hate it when she doesnt talk to me the way she talks to others.

In my mind...i jus have a feeling that she is a good friend...nd i won tell her what i feel.
but is it jus another case of love?... or is it something else?

wouldi end up proposing her?... or would i know wat she has for me in the end?
would she also think that she loves me?... nd if she does.... y dont i trust her?

No, it cant be love... cuz love has trust.... understanding.... which we both dont have...she'd talk to anyone(nd especially flirt with anyone around except me)

i've known her for a long time... but i never guess i've had her flirt with me.

but y do i care?

if she's just another frnd...y would i jus care.... or is she not a friend?..is she more to me?

i don know... but i leave these ques. for the future to answer...but until the future answers.... would i be not sleeping like tonight... would i be hating wenever i get to know frm someone that she flirts with them....

if yes, then y?.. who is she?...what is she to me?

My love...or just another person in my life?

Wen we meet

2007-03-11T01:39:00.000-08:00

I want her, I need her...and someday, some way, I'll meet her

She'll be kinda shy....nd real good lookin too....nd yea, I'll be certain she's my girl..

like walkin' in the rain nd wishin' on the stars up above nd that'd be the feelin of being in love
When she'd near me, I'll kiss her.....nd when she leaves me, I'll miss her
Though sometimes we'll fight nd i'd not prack her...cuz i know she loves me so much nd she would be alright in an hour or two :P....... Cause we got so much to share

She'll be cuter than the average girl i see.... nd would be lovely to keep looking at.

Though i'd make it sure that she doesnt get bored :P..... i'll love her....love her with all my heart.
nd she wont be one of those temporary-girls of mine.

but she'd be one angel...who'd take away my breath... nd leave me wanting her more.....

um eagerly waiting to meet her sometime... nd wen i do...i'll make sure to post bout the best day of my life... :)

title doesnt matter!

2007-03-03T09:39:00.000-08:00

I have been searching of that LOVE all my life...{Nd before anyone of u starts takin hints,um not at all one of the despo kinds....}
Its just that i love love!....nd i love being in love.

As most of u dont know that um damn unpredictable.
i can wish of being single wen i have a partner nd i can wish of having someone who loves me wen um single.

Um not one of those who'll keep following the suit nd sit in peace.
i eagerly search for satisfaction nd peace in my life....
nd mostly my posts show that...i start with somethin nd end at something else...
I actually sat tonight thinking of posting something fr my love(known love or unknown....this is yet unknown!)

but wateva...um determined to write fr my dreamgirl(I seriously dont remember the face :|)

How is it possible,my love, that i havent ever seen you nd still i feel ur pain?
confusing is this love..nd confusing is our story.... though u never come in reality...u always stop me frm getting serious with anyone....
y do i feel that u need me....damn!...y do i come online wenever i feel like meeting u!!!

ur strange, my love, cuz u never come and meet me... nd ur unique too, cuz i write fr u everyday.
Y do i flirt when ur still their in my dreams? nd y am i not studying at this time?
y dont u jus........

i've seen u sad fr me..... but y?
oh baby.... just look into my eyes..once.
jus give all ur worries to me...and then smile .... bring that smile on ur face which made me fall in love with u at day 1. Bring that smile which makes me fall in love with you every time i see u.

i cnt live now....i cnt...when ur not with me.
this is when i sit in my room thinking of u...killing the time nd gradually making the hours disapper...nd then i wish to enter that world...in which u live in.....nd i open my arms...to welcome u.

its all to the hilt now.
My heart beats with ur thoughts.... honey um mad to see u now.

i can leave my world to come to u....nd live with u.

But then... maybe i cant meet u in this real world...or maybe i can....let's see wat destiny has in store fr us...

Me

2007-02-28T01:59:00.000-08:00

The gate to my heart is closed.... nd maybe closed fr me too..cuz i don know wat do i want frm life
i don know whom i love...
i don know whether or not um exploring the right lane..
But i can't escape from one truth... i.e. um too lazy to even think about myself.
Things in my life are never planned... never organized...
The other day..i woke up bathed.. turned on my PC.. felt like making a resume.. made it.. got it printed and went out... for an interview!!??!!!!

Mid way to the call centre i was wondering that what had made me come for an interview...i knew even i dint know the answer... i walked up the stairs and at the reception said, 'Um here for the interview'...(i know these call centres need executives at every time of the year!)
So there i was sitting, for the first ever interview of my life, unprepared and clueless of what to say.
But... i went in with less nervousness...for a change!
Hopefully there was nothing much in the interview... just an introduction and 2-3 general questions... it seemed a normal conversation with a lady.
and i was selected... (See... its so easy!)

okay.. so there's no motive behind writing this... wrote it...just cuz i was getting bored!.. he he

no personal grudges against u... as i always say... i had no intentions!!!

You...

2007-02-25T20:39:00.000-08:00

Apart from you, I won't desire anything;
I will love you as long as I live.

My eyes long to behold you.
My heart longs to love you.
I'll forever remain immersed in devotion to you.
How shall I explain to you the state of my heart!
this body of yours will become fragrant,
such mischief will I play with my eyes.

You've settled me in your heart;
you've made me worthy of love.
If I don't meet you, I won't be able to go on living.
Who can I tell about where my heart has found harbor?
Whatever punishment God gives me,
whatever punishment God gives me is acceptable,
since I now make you my object of worship.

It will be easy to forget you...

2007-02-25T20:38:00.000-08:00

It will be easy to forget you...
I just can't look to the sky
or even remember the sea...
I'll just have to stop dreaming
and learn how to be alone...
I know I'll forget you..
I just can't remember your smile..
your beautiful eyes,
your sweet mouth...
I can do it,
I know I can...
I just can't look to anything,
I just can't remember,
I just can't live...
or love...
I'll forget how important you are on my life...
I'll just have to forget myself...

Feelings...

2007-02-25T20:32:00.000-08:00

Heart battered and torn,
Emotions are worn,
Tears running,
No end,
Nothing to depend.
Pain that is real
Clearly reveal:
Attachments by one;
Returned by none.

Egos are bruised,
Feelings abused,
Dreams that are crushed
By actions too rushed.
Alone without care,
Everyone aware:
Troubled heart,
Not so very smart.

Facts all too clear,
Ending so near,
Longing to stay,
But forced away.
Pleading, hope,
Unable to cope;
Cry me a river
And don't let me shiver
Without you there's no
More places to go.

How To Fight Proof Your Relationships

2007-01-08T19:47:00.000-08:00

Ok - so maybe you can't really fight proof your relationships.
(and who doesn't love when a little spark turns into some real 'make-up' heat?:)

But what you CAN do is cut down your tendency to tiff and speed up the turnaround time from mad to madly in love. You just remember one thing:

It's takes two to fight and one to end the fight. Simple as that.

You see, most of us are so invested in how *right* we are about how *wrong* the other person is that we totally forget we have the option to apologize (and mean it) and get right back into the flow of our relationships.

A real apology costs NOTHING but can produce an instant experience of aliveness, well-being, love and partnership that is truly PRICELESS.

And let's get real: life is WAY too short to hang on to anger, resentment, and being *right*. Last time I checked, we ain't gettin' any younger if you know what I mean...

Here's the bottom line. You can be *right* or you can be happy. You can't be both. When you're *right* and someone else is *wrong* - there's no real win for you. Someone you love (and you too, if you tell the truth) feels crappy about the whole thing.

Let's face it. We're all human which means we tend to say or do unkind things to one another (yes - even you :-) every now and then.

Even if you think you didn't do anything *wrong* but someone you love thinks you did, isn't an apology worth some happiness in your life?

Remember this email next time to want to stomp around, kick something or cross your arms in a huff over a fight.

It takes two to fight and one to end the fight.

Let that one be you.
-Marie Forleo

This one's for you, My love...

2006-12-30T10:19:00.000-08:00

A Chain Letter I Like

2006-11-25T20:02:00.000-08:00

My Apologies fr such a late post!!!....

A CHAIN LETTER I LIKE
Hello, my name is Vishaal Sharma. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor fucking 6 year old girl in Ludhiana with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her sardar parents sell her off to the traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send his email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy Bunny in the magazine! What a bunch of fucking bullshit.

So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Ceaser in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.

Fuck them!

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly fucking amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a Nickel from some omniscient being forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

Chain Letter Type 1:

(scroll down)

Make a wish!!!

Keep Scrolling

No, really, go on and make one!!!

Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!

Wish something else!!!

Not that, you pervert!!

STOP!!!!

Wasn't that fun? :)

Hope you made a great wish :)

Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.

It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.

*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house. Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

Chain Letter Type 2

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.

Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.

Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.

Thanks again!!

Chain Letter Type 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do.

So this is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

*Bizarre Horror Story #1

Vishakha Raina was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!

*Bizarre Horror Story #2

Sahil Bansal, a 16 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.

This Could Happen To You Too!!! Remember, you could end up just like Vishakha and Sahil. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.

Chain Letter Type 4

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.

Send it to all your friends.

FRIENDS:

A friend is someone who is always at your side.

A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you've been eating catfood.

A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of assholes.

A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself.

A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life.

A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs.

A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, wshes da dishes and then gets the paisa and leaves and doesn't speak much English...no, sorry that's the cleaning lady.

A friend is NOT someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.

Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again!

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Vishakha. Right?

PS: PPL THIS,AS A WHOLE, ISNT MINE....but is a must read

long time...got somethin real...taste it,folks...

2006-09-21T22:30:00.000-07:00

LOVED AND LOST

I dont know how many of us here have loved and lost. I love her and I lost her. It hurts like crazy but i can't do anything about it. I look out for her on my way to work, just one glance...one fleeting glance. I know I have never loved anyone this deeply and I know I never will. I was never so crazy about anyone and never ever will be. I love her smile, I love her eyes. i love her for being herself, for her "I don't know" to every question. Does she even know that I die every moment of my life realizing that she is not 'with me'? perhaps she did not understand me, she came into my life when I was in a real mess, I still am...but I'm trying my best! Just wish she did'nt leave me! But she fkin did.... she was the one person who could bring a smile to my lips and she always will be that one person. I know no one can take her place. Can't live without her! dont want to live without her. But I dont want to force myself on her. Maybe someday, she'll remember me with a smile and not a frown...perhaps someday she'll say that she loved me, even for a fleeting moment. As for me...She was the one I truely loved and I know no one will ever take her place. NEVER EVER!

Tum kyon chale aate ho
Har roz in khwabon mein
Chupke se aa bhi jao
Ek din meri baahon mein
Tere hi sapne andhere mein ujalo mein
Koi nasha hai teri aankhon ke pyalon mein
Tu mere khabon mein jawabo mein sawalo mein
Har din chura tumhe mein lata hoon khayalon mein....remember?

The Biggest Crush of my life.....part 2

2006-09-21T22:29:00.000-07:00

and so we started chatting....day and night....
gradually started knowin each other.....and more and more...
but suddenly something happened....
she said she had a boyfriend....:((

i was not actually in love with her....but still...i dunno why it hurt me a lot...

i kept talkin..jus cuz I THOUGHT that we were frnz...
we both taunted each other in our class too.....not specifically on a thing...but jus like that....

she had her exam on 20th and that was maybe the last day till wen we talked properly...after that ..no msgs frm her side...and now not even a forwarded msg.......

we have completely lost touch...

miss u loads..SR

The Biggest Crush of my life.....part 1

2006-09-21T22:28:00.000-07:00

i was there a bit late...was looking around for familiar faces....on the first day of my physics tuition this yr....

She came in....i looked at her....as i'd do with everyone who enters the tutorial room.....i jus saw and looked at my notebook...and suddenly again saw her....cuz she sat jus next to me....and then i read her Tee.....'twas written in big letters...OUT OF MY WAY.....and i jus came back to my senses....and tried to concentrate on my book....

after a while i saw her smiling with Charu...and that face was so damn innocent....loved the way she smiled and so i started my class room humour...jus to see her smile again and again...it wasn't that i hadn't seen such a sweet girl before...but i dunno y she had that glue which kept me engrossed.....

We had a test at the end of the class.....she finished it and went back...i gave my incomplete test and ran after her....but somewat cleverly!!....but my sacrifice for the test dint pay me:((.....she was very quick...and was gone on her activa...

waited for the next class...same things happened...but the difference was that mam was complaining that i dint concentrate!!!...

next class---i tried to cocentrate today...and looked at her...just thrice:P

and finally in the next class....or maybe after two classes....we both were released at the same time!!!(u know y i said released!!!)

and i was quite jolly that day....i was taking out my scooter...which was parked intelligently with her actve:P......i took out my cell...while she was putting it back in her back pocket...

and i actually dint know wat we were talkin before i suddenly said...."achha Swati...apna number to dede yaar"...and without wasting a sec ..unlocked my keypad...and the voice came..."mera personal nai hai yaar...mumma ka hai"...i,without any expression said...but fir bhi..kuchh puchhna hota hai...
**********...she said...and i said....cool number hai yaar!!

and then jus before i said bye...she said..tuition se aadha ghanta pehle hi call ya msg karna...i said ok and then bbye!!.....

as soon as i reached home...i msgd her and we started chatting.....i was on cloud 9 wen i saw her first reply!!

Beautifully stated!

2006-08-08T04:24:00.001-07:00

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually

lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend

upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end,

be afraid that it will never begin

My Luv

2006-06-05T21:06:00.000-07:00

...how've you been? That's a question i feel strange asking because i met you today itself. I held your strong hands, hugged your warm body, kissed your smiling lips.
But, that's the present. Let's go back to the past for a few moments. Not too long back, just a few days.
That day i met you after what seemed like a lifetime, an eternity. You smiled at me and it felt like i was in heaven. I'm not one who believes in the concept of heaven, but for that one moment, it felt like there was a God because that moment was perfect. Later that sunny afternoon, that amazing afternoon, we went back to your home. You led me by the hand to "the room at the top of the stairs" (a distasteful song by Eddie Rabbit.) The sun was setting and so was my pain which i had felt for the few restless weeks before that, where it felt like torture because i couldn't meet you. You played 'the song that bid you goodbye' in all those painful hours (the one's mentioned above), where your presence felt distances away. You kissed me softly and i felt shivers go up my spine. They seemed to reassure me of what i already very well knew - that you love me.
Let me reassure you of what you very well know - that i love you too. In other words: i'll always be there for you when you need me, but more when you don't. I'll always hold your hand when you need encouragement. I'll always lend u a shoulder to cry on, and i'll also always wipe your tears. I'll hold you up when you're down and take your pain away. I'll kiss you and hold your hand in public. I'll hug you when you're sweaty and dirty after a game of football. I'll be your friend, your guide, your encouragement, your will power, your strength, your handkerchief, your boyfriend, your best friend, your love. I'll help you choose right from wrong. I'll support you in all you do and in all your decisions. I'll be there for you when you need someone to take your anger out on. I'll always listen to you when you need to pour your heart out. To abbreviate/summarize it : I'll always love you.
This is not only my blog entry, it's alot more. This is my life...my everything. You are my life...my everything.
But this is not only my past, this is my present and my future. I'll love you for a lifetime, an eternity.
Today, i held your stron hands - they make me feel protected; i hugged your warm body - it makes me feel cared for; i kissed your smiling lips - it reassured me of something i already very well knew : that you love me.
This is my blog entry for today...
...i'll love you forever.

p.s. for all those reading this, you are truly privilaged if you have someone who thinks the same 'bout u!

hey there....this is sumfin bout meah

2006-05-15T06:56:00.000-07:00

life is a tiny dot...n u wonder whr from it started n whr will it end....u meet a million people...tak 2 dem make frnds mak enemies...n wht matters 2 u is d happiness u share ...wht brings a smile or a frown on ur face ...is a consequence of ur endeavours...its in ur hands 2 make a difference in ur life..its in ur hands...2 be d person u wana be...so make a difference..n be tht difference...n in all tht cums 2 me...yup...thts me!!!