Saturday, March 17, 2007

I feel

I have never been in so much love with anyone....missing someone so much isn't my way.
I like to be practical at most of my times(i know most of u r laughing on this cuz i never appear practical in the blog!...lollz)
But its nt that...i blog whenever i feel sad...nd as i said in the latest posts....that cuz no-one listens to me.
nd maybe cuz no-one understands me too.
But whenever the sun sets...night comes...i behave weird nd i start feeling for her...i feel that um losing her...maybe some of my friends would steal her from me.
I keep asking myself...what if she falls in love with someone else?
what if i lose her totally?...nd what if she isn't missing me? what if "the right time" fr me doesnt ever come?
But then, um reminded of all the troubles i have been through... all the silliest fight i've fought in the last 3 months of my life..... i forget the tears of the beginning, which dropped frm my eyes reading the texts she sent me.
but i remember the tears born cuz of her(or maybe me) in the last 2-3 days.

The lights of my room are off, my breakfast has been lying on the table from the last 40 minutes.... but i dont feel like switchin on the lights or getting my favorite paneer ka parauntha(beautifully lying in the plate with a big chunk or makhan) into me.

i dont feel anythin... no no no...i dont want to make her cry again by getting hyper...i dont want her to go to others to share our fights....nd get guided by them.

i want that same girl as she was in december. Not talkin to anyone but me...waiting fr me to come online..calling me whenever she was sad. laughing with me.

Talkin to her at that time was just like getting felt good...i forgot all the things i was supposed to do.... work,study,exercise nd everything.

i was spending every hour of my day talkin to her....listening to her sexy voice, sensing her deep feelings for me...sharing everythin with her.

Every secret disclosed.... because she was just the type of girl i have wanted.

But.... its all over now.
i cant hear the same voice laughing, crying thinking that we cant ever meet.
Tears roll down my cheeks listening to Atif, nd comparing the lyrics to my life.
i dont feel like listening to rock now...
i have always been a great fan of rock genre of music...but i dont feel like rocking anymore....

cuz i've lost something precious of my life..... nd i feel like crying on it.

But....its no point crying too.
i know she'll have a new life in this month or next nd forget me....nd i'll lie here thinking of the best moments(that we could never spend together)

Planning of what would i do when i see her(which,practically speaking,is never possible)

But maybe,maybe someday,sometime, my wishes would come true....
or....maybe i'll die dreaming of her nd wanting her more nd more everyday.

Love you loads....

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